Hilarious satire of Dem apoplexy over Trump’s next Supreme Court pick
The obsessive media hatred of President Trump has made them entirely predictable. Everything he does is not just wrong, it is an outage. And everyone he appoints to office is utterly, irredeemably evil, so malign that dining at a restaurant is a threat that must be countered by mobs.
Blogger Don Surber has provided us with a splendid satire of the spittle-flecked media madness that will erupt as soon as President Trump announces his nominee for the Supreme Court seat being vacated by Justice Kennedy. What makes this brilliant satire is that it is a generic editorial that could (and will) be published against anyone the president chooses. Don instructs journalists:
To those still laboring at a craft that last had impact in the 19th century, I draw upon my 27 years of experience to offer this generic editorial on whomever President Trump nominates for the Supreme Court.
You may cut and paste it, and your boss will not notice the difference.The Senate Must Reject This Monster
President Trump -- a vain, deranged, and impulsive man elected by Russia and not a majority of Americans -- has nominated the worst judicial candidate since Roger Brooke Taney, the chief justice who authored the Dred Scott decision. [Nominee's name] may be worse. Not only does [he or she] view African-Americans as chattel, but women as second-class citizens!
Read the whole thing.
The best thing about this is that it preemptively dismisses all the editorials that will look like it once the nominee is announced. They will be proven to be just boilerplate.
Don Surber has given us one of those gifts that will keep on giving.
https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2018/07/hilarious_satire_of_dem_apoplexy_over_trumps_next_supreme_court_pick.html
Don Surber
The generic editorial against Trump's next pick
Writing newspaper editorials is an exercise in exasperating futility. They have scant impact. 243 newspapers endorsed Hillary. 20 endorsed Donald John Trump. Who won?
To those still laboring at a craft that last had impact in the 19th century, I draw upon my 27 years of experience to offer this generic editorial on whomever President Trump nominates for the Supreme Court.
You may cut and paste it, and your boss will not notice the difference.
The Senate Must Reject This Monster
President Trump -- a vain, deranged, and impulsive man elected by Russia and not a majority of Americans -- has nominated the worst judicial candidate since Roger Brooke Taney, the chief justice who authored the Dred Scott decision. [Nominee's name] may be worse. Not only does [he or she] view African-Americans as chattel, but women as second-class citizens!
Most Republicans want to return America to the oppressive and conformist days of the 1950s when everyone had a job instead of welfare!
President Trump has nominated a person who wants to return to the slave days of 1850s!
This would be Armageddon for our Constitution. Women would be forced to seek reproduction freedom from back-alley butchers again. Republicans would bar minorities and millennials from voting. People would be allowed to own as many guns as they like without registering them; vaginas would be more regulated than assault weapons!
As a justice, [nominee's name] would declare open season on undocumented workers, forcing them to return to the squalor and violence they fled in their native countries. The Statue of Liberty would be sold as scrap as our borders would be shut to all but a few!
With this nomination, President Trump has made an existential attack on democracy. This nomination would guarantee the alt-right control of the nation's highest court for the next 50 years. If confirmed by the Senate, [nominee's name] would be complicit in shutting down newspapers, silencing critics, and allowing hate speech in a perverted misinterpretation of the First Amendment!
Corporations would be allowed to pollute the air and rivers again. Then they would move all the jobs overseas. Slave wages would be paid on the remaining jobs as citizens and undocumented workers would compete for those jobs in Wall Street's version of "The Hunger Games"!
As a justice, [nominee's name] would usher in a new era that would turn America into a theocracy in which prayer returns to school, the teaching of evolution is banned, and only climate change deniers would be allowed to teach science!
Only Fox News would be allowed to broadcast. The president would be allowed to spy on the political opposition. The president could weaponize the IRS to go after his enemies, and the court would be silent about this threat to democracy!
This is not who we are. We are better than this. These are not our values. Not only must the Senate reject [nominee's name] but the Senate must vote to disbar [him or her] to show that the nation will not tolerate intolerance!
To those still laboring at a craft that last had impact in the 19th century, I draw upon my 27 years of experience to offer this generic editorial on whomever President Trump nominates for the Supreme Court.
You may cut and paste it, and your boss will not notice the difference.
The Senate Must Reject This Monster
President Trump -- a vain, deranged, and impulsive man elected by Russia and not a majority of Americans -- has nominated the worst judicial candidate since Roger Brooke Taney, the chief justice who authored the Dred Scott decision. [Nominee's name] may be worse. Not only does [he or she] view African-Americans as chattel, but women as second-class citizens!
Most Republicans want to return America to the oppressive and conformist days of the 1950s when everyone had a job instead of welfare!
President Trump has nominated a person who wants to return to the slave days of 1850s!
This would be Armageddon for our Constitution. Women would be forced to seek reproduction freedom from back-alley butchers again. Republicans would bar minorities and millennials from voting. People would be allowed to own as many guns as they like without registering them; vaginas would be more regulated than assault weapons!
As a justice, [nominee's name] would declare open season on undocumented workers, forcing them to return to the squalor and violence they fled in their native countries. The Statue of Liberty would be sold as scrap as our borders would be shut to all but a few!
With this nomination, President Trump has made an existential attack on democracy. This nomination would guarantee the alt-right control of the nation's highest court for the next 50 years. If confirmed by the Senate, [nominee's name] would be complicit in shutting down newspapers, silencing critics, and allowing hate speech in a perverted misinterpretation of the First Amendment!
Corporations would be allowed to pollute the air and rivers again. Then they would move all the jobs overseas. Slave wages would be paid on the remaining jobs as citizens and undocumented workers would compete for those jobs in Wall Street's version of "The Hunger Games"!
As a justice, [nominee's name] would usher in a new era that would turn America into a theocracy in which prayer returns to school, the teaching of evolution is banned, and only climate change deniers would be allowed to teach science!
Only Fox News would be allowed to broadcast. The president would be allowed to spy on the political opposition. The president could weaponize the IRS to go after his enemies, and the court would be silent about this threat to democracy!
This is not who we are. We are better than this. These are not our values. Not only must the Senate reject [nominee's name] but the Senate must vote to disbar [him or her] to show that the nation will not tolerate intolerance!
https://donsurber.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-generic-editorial-against-trumps.html#more
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