Dear Liberals,
I wanted to send along my condolences in regards to the rough week you guys have had.
Now that the Boston Marathon bombers have been identified as Muslim terrorists, I can only imagine how heartbroken you must be. Hell – I wouldn’t be surprised if Tingles Matthews is on 24-hour suicide watch. Then, you have the morbidly-obese Michael Moore, who immediately speculated that the bombers were “white right-wingers,” now pathetically claiming via Twitter that he was “right.” (Seems as if he missed the part about the killers being radicalized Chechen Muslims.) I can only imagine how embarrassing it must be that once again, one of your self-appointed spokesmen – er, sorry, “spokespersons” – is such a spectacularly sore loser.
Speaking of spectacularly sore losers, your president’s little temper tantrum in the Rose Garden after the Senate handed him his ass on the gun-control bill must have been embarrassing as well. To add insult to injury, it was the Democrat-controlled Senate that did the ass-handing – with five Democrats joining the ranks of the evil Republicans – or as O likes to call them, the “enemies.” I’m sure that the disappointment of being denied the opportunity to blame the bill’s defeat on John Boehner and the House Republicans is excruciating for him.
Take heart though; O’s humiliation, after he pulled out all the stops, will only serve to motivate him to issue yet another slew of executive orders – and Congress will be circumvented again! So, see? All it not lost in your efforts to control the guns of law-abiding citizens. Besides, this is only one loss in the long march to confiscate guns; have a little patience!
I’m sure it must also be rough for you guys to read about the horrific testimony and see the grisly images coming out of the Philadelphia abortionist’s murder trial. Not very good for the cause, is it? Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place; your media refuses to cover the story in its effort to protect abortion at all costs – while it continues to draw an ever-increasing amount of criticism for doing so. I mean, it’s getting so bad that even liberal commentators are pointing out the hypocrisy. Too bad Gosnell didn’t kill all those babies with an AR-15, huh? How awesome would that have been?
Anyway, chins up, dudes – it won’t be this bad forever. Besides, if the fertilizer plant explosion in Texas turns out to have been intentionally caused by a white right-winger – better yet, a white right-wing Christian –everything will be good again on Planet Looney Tunes. Keep your fingers and toes crossed.
Have a great weekend,
A Concerned Conservative
P.S. Almost forgot: So sorry that the deluded nut job Elvis impersonator who sent ricin-laced letters to O and several members of Congress turned out to not only be a Democrat – but a Democrat activist, no less. Man, when it rains, it pours, huh?
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